Last night was one of those 3-dollars-in-my-bank-account-until-that-check-clears, home-too-late-to-hit-the-grocery-store kind of nights so I had to make do with what was left in my cupboard. Aaaand since it’s been like this for a couple of days, I was down to the nitty-gritty. You know — the stuff that you don’t eat but you don’t throw out because it has a shelf life of 25...
Soup: Greg Giraldo Interview →
michaelianblack: Greg was a guy I knew from comedy. We hung out a few times, did a couple shows together. I was struck by his immense intelligence and good spirit. He died yesterday after an accidental prescription drug overdose. I’ve been upset about it since I found out: too many talented… Boy. That interview hits a little too close to home. Ugh. I had a post-it on my desk for most of...
Jerry: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.
Osgood: Why not?
Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
Osgood: Doesn't matter.
Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!
Osgood: I don't care.
Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.
Osgood: I forgive you.
Jerry: [Tragically] I can never have children!
Osgood: We can adopt some.
Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood!
[Pulls of wig]
Jerry: I'm a man!
Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect!
My father made me watch "Some Like it Hot" years ago, probably when I was in high school. This was his favorite scene, and what he considers one of the best closing lines in cinematic history. I agree. *Yes, I know this is a Jack Lemmon scene but losing TC made me think of it.
All the girls are getting bigger butts because they’re, like, doing...– OH in Midtown (two dudes standing in the entrance of a garage, scoping women out as they walk by. [trust me, boys, it ain’t pilates for me — it’s banana cream pudding]
A few years ago, my grandmother, once an incredibly smart, caring social worker and born-too-late hippie who suffered from Alzheimer’s the last seven years, was visiting my parents for the weekend. I took her to Harrisburg airport so she could fly back to Pittsburgh. Since I wasn’t flying myself, I had to get a guest pass to walk her to the gate. Of course, this guest pass seemed to...
‘Fur adorns everything this year,’ which means you and I are in good...– My mother, reading from a fashion magazine.
Sh*t My Dad Occasionally Says
Mom: Why are we watching this game? You don't like the Cowboys or the Redskins.
David: Oh the Redskins are historically Dad's second favorite team.
Mom and Me: What!?? Why?!?
Dad: Just because they have the balls to keep their name.
Is it okay to judge someone purely on the fact that they use :O) and that they use it a LOT? I don’t mind the use of emoticons but I prefer :-) over :O) and :) over :-). It’s sort of LOLing vs. haha-ing. I don’t LOL. I haha. Or I ha! and on a rare occasion I have been known to heh. Wait. Where did that brownie go that I was eating?
“Crazy Lady” - Phil M