January 2009
Damn, it sound absolutely brutal out there. Maybe the thigh-highs should stay home. Could get drafty.
December 2008
Tis really really bothering me that I left my phone home today.
Well, I can't compete with this. →
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everythingisawesomemonkey:
New Year’s Eve sex: Is it ever a good idea?
Yes…but only if your New Year’s Eve is one of those “stay in with the S.O., have a champagne toast or something, but not get totally shitfaced.” That last clause is key.
“Stay in”? What, are we 80? I was thinking more along the lines of semi-stranger-sex rarely living up to expectations. ...
NYE should be black-tie mandatory. I love a sharp-dressed man.
My fortune cookie says:
“The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell.”
Is this some sort of pro-virginity crap, Hunan Delight?
New Year’s Eve sex: Is it ever a good idea?
listen, bad hair cut, please don't fucking tell me...
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jaimeleighfairbrother:
You know why you loved it? Because it was on your high school curriculum and it was THE ONLY BOOK YOU READ IN HIGH SCHOOL. Oh, you related to a whiny, socially inept kid who couldn’t figure his shit out? No kidding! That’s fucking incredible. I mean, to think that a character like that could reach teenagers—fucking shocks me silly!
Salinger wrote...
I don’t even like Whitecastle.
And I really thought we'd be able to get through...
Mom: Are you doing anything fun, meeting new people?
Me: No, not really. In fact, I seem to like fewer and fewer people these days. I cannot be bothered.
Mom: What are you doing for activities?
Me: Um, well, I work until 6, I have no money to go out, so I go home and it's dark out so lately I plop myself down on the couch and fall asleep and suddenly it's 9 and I'm awake the rest of the night and exhausted in the morning. Repeat.
Mom: Think you're depressed.
Me (the gist of my rant): I have no idea what to do with my life, I've got a crap temp job that's barely paying me so I'm annilating my savings because I can't figure out what to focus my energy on just "go for it" and if I get one more pep talk from someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about, I'm gonna pop 'em one. Plus, if I do pick something, finally, and "go for it" blow my safety net and completely fail -- I just don't know if I have the inherent bootstraps to pull myself up again. Okay, so yeah, there's my career and self-worth stuff. And the rest? My "friends" are either in boyfriendland or have turned out to be manipulative, selfish fake-friends with zero substance or I just don't feel like I have anything to talk to them about because I have nothing to offer. If I'm unhappy person and sick of myself, why should I expect anyone else to be happy with me? Why would anyone want to hang out with someone who's unhappy? And why should I waste any more time on people who make me unhappy? If you have nothing of value to add to my life, you're gone. And please feel free to kick me to the curb as well.
I don't think being unhappy because I can't treat myself to new clothes, dinner out, that I hate my temp job and have been literally applying to almost ANY reasonable job, that I have no one to love or who I want to love me and am rather tired of this seemingly endless string of useless men and/or friends who I could care less about, is about depression. With all this fucking never-ending shit going on, if I was skipping about tra-la-la-ing, that'd just be weird. It's not depression, it's common sense.
I have nothing to report at the moment except that, for some reason, my glands are huge. But not the right ones.
I’m having a hard time swallowing.
And I really want to go to bed right now.
I find it amusing that NBC is airing Cymbalta commercials during the most depressing part of the movie.
Wha…They’re still making “Beethoven” movies?
We (my brother and I) put off the booze until now… but I have a bad feeling. I sincerely apologize in advance for any unseemly posts that might appear later. Cleaning’s done, now tipsy wrapping has begun while watching It’s a Wonderful Life —- which I’m pretty happy to watch since it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to see all of it (usually just...
The cleaning is done. Now we’re fighting the moping. Man oh man, if you can avoid dumping someone before Christmas, please do…
Yup.
HOT GLUE GUN + Whiskey
Maybe bad idea? Let’s find out.
This is how the night has turned out:
I’m watching random stand-up comedians on youtube whilst cutting out photos to shellac onto flasks I bought my brothers (since making similar flasks for my two best NY friends a year ago, my brothers begged me all year for their own).
Also, speaking of comedians, my buddy Sherrod called to see what I was up to, and did I want to bring my parents by to...
With 36 hours before parental arrival...
…I’ve come to the moment when I stop cleaning so much as I start hiding…
I wonder if that fancy iPhone ap that figures out what song you’re listening to, say in a cafe or something, could figure out what the hell this music is that a random Indian cab driver gave me last month.
ghostofmitch:
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said “No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah.”
tylercoates:
I can’t stop thinking about how disappointing Slumdog Millionaire was, I swear to God. Today it came to mind because my mother asked her to grab her a Caffeine-Free Diet Coke (her Coke of choice), which is how Katie described it (compared to City of God’s Coke - clever, no?).
Then I thought more about it, and, to me, Slumdog Millionaire is the Indian Forrest Gump, only the main...
One of life's simple pleasures...
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Putting on boxer briefs, socks, jeans, a t-shirt and fleece pull-over when they’re all fresh (and more importantly WARM) from the dryer.
I often try to mimic this by draping the days clothes on the radiator while I’m in the shower. Works well!
Oh no...
Mom is sending out her Christmas letter. Last year, she handed me a copy AFTER it had already been sent out and this is what I read:
“[Disapproving Monkey] is still in New York at MTV but jobhunting as MTV has proved to be an unstable environment this year. She loves to karaoke, as does [my brother], and has taken up photography, which she is good at, and gotten some jobs through it. Her ...
Ever noticed...
That it seems every 24 year-old male thinks he’s the first to discover Holden Caulfield and every 24 year-old girl thinks she’s a unique snowflake and falls in love with Holly Golightly?
I was, of course, totally guilty of this as well.
Made the mistake of putting on a Christmas radio station. I really thought I could get through this season without hearing “The Christmas Shoes.” However, if one needs to induce vomiting, this is an excellent alternative to sticking your finger down your throat.
Someone please please PLEASE remind me to clear my browsing history before my parents show up next week and one of them goes on my computer to look up a recipe or something. The HORROR.